Finding Balance: Understanding and Regulating Your Nervous System
Your nervous system is like an autopilot constantly running in the background, taking care of your heartbeat, breathing, digestion, and so much more without you even having to think about it. Specifically, it's your Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) doing this amazing job — a system we share with all mammals, designed to keep us safe and balanced.
The ANS has two main gears:
Sympathetic system — Think of this as the accelerator pedal. It helps you gear up and respond when you sense danger (the classic "fight or flight" response).
Parasympathetic system — This is your brake pedal, helping you slow down, rest, and recover (known as "rest and digest").
A healthy nervous system shifts easily between these two gears — up-regulating when you need more energy and down-regulating when it's time to relax. But stress, trauma, or long-term pressure can get the system stuck — either revving too high (feeling anxious, jumpy, wired) or dropping too low (feeling numb, frozen, or disconnected).
The good news is, you can teach your nervous system to find its way back to balance. By learning simple tools to either downshift (calm yourself) or upshift (boost your energy), you support your system’s natural rhythm — helping you feel safer, more connected, and more resilient.
How the Nervous System Reacts to Stress
Our ANS is constantly scanning both the outside world (what’s happening around us) and the inside world (what’s happening in our body). Fascinatingly, 80–90% of the signals along the vagus nerve — the major information highway between brain and body — actually travel from the body to the brain, not the other way around. This means our posture, breath, muscle tension, even facial expressions are sending constant messages to the brain about whether we’re safe or under threat.
Here’s how the nervous system typically responds:
1. Sympathetic Activation: Fight or Flight (Up-Regulation)
When the body senses danger, it hits the accelerator. Heart rate increases, muscles tense, and stress hormones like adrenaline flood the system. This up-regulation helps you react quickly and stay alive.
2. Parasympathetic Overload: Freeze or Shutdown (Down-Regulation Gone Too Far)
When fighting or fleeing isn’t possible — like dealing with chronic stress or relational trauma — the system might slam the brakes too hard. You enter a freeze state: feeling stuck, disconnected, exhausted, or even hopeless.
When Regulation Gets Stuck
Ideally, our ANS moves gracefully between action and rest. But when we stay in survival mode for too long (from chronic stress, unresolved trauma, etc.), the system can get stuck:
Chronic Fight/Flight: Anxiety, panic, hypervigilance, trouble sleeping.
Chronic Freeze: Numbness, depression, fatigue, disconnection.
In both cases, your body’s state shapes your emotions and even the story you tell yourself about your life (remember: “Story follows state"). That's why addressing the body, not just the mind, is key.
How to Re-Balance: Practical Tools to Up-Regulate and Down-Regulate
Depending on how you're feeling — anxious and overstimulated, or numb and drained — you can use specific practices to either calm (down-regulate) or energise (up-regulate) your system.
Ways to Calm and Ground Yourself (Down-Regulation)
When you’re anxious, jumpy, or overwhelmed, your nervous system needs help applying the brakes. Here’s how:
🌿 Breathwork:
4–7–8 breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, exhale slowly for 8 seconds.
Ujjayi breath: Soft ocean-like breathing through a slightly constricted throat.
Deep belly breathing: Hand on your belly, slow inhales and long exhales, feeling your hand rise and fall.
🌿 Sensory Grounding:
Notice 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 sounds you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.
Walk barefoot, touch textured objects, or carry a grounding stone or fabric.
🌿 Gentle Movement:
Slow stretches, yoga, or even a relaxed walk.
Simple movements like shoulder rolls or chest openers release tension and signal safety to the brain.
🌿 Soothing Sensory Tools:
Warm baths, soft blankets, calming scents like lavender, or sipping warm, caffeine-free tea.
Deep-pressure hugs or weighted blankets can release “feel-good” hormones.
🌿 Safe Social Connection:
Talk to a trusted friend, hug someone you love, stroke your pet.
Warm, caring connection tells your nervous system “you are not alone.”
🌿 Sound and Music:
Soft, single-chord music or solfeggio frequencies.
Gentle humming or singing can stimulate the vagus nerve and support relaxation.
Ways to Boost Energy and Aliveness (Up-Regulation)
When you’re feeling flat, numb, or disconnected, it’s time to lightly press the gas pedal. Here’s how:
🔥 Breathwork for Activation:
Lumberjack breath: Strong inhale through the nose, exhale with a “HA!” sound, adding full-body movement if possible.
Voo breath: A long vibrating “vooooo” on the exhale (stimulates the vagus nerve but in an energizing way).
🔥 Movement & Exercise:
Brisk walk, jog in place, dance to loud music, jumping jacks, or a 5-minute movement break.
Even small bursts of activity can reset your system.
🔥 Cold Exposure:
Splash cold water on your face, hold an ice cube, or take a quick cold shower.
Cold triggers alertness, increases endorphins, and helps lower stress over time.
🔥 Stimulating Senses:
Bright lights, stepping into the sun, chewing minty gum, or drinking something refreshing.
Wearing bright clothes or citrusy scents (like peppermint) can wake you up.
🔥 Play and Connection:
Laugh, joke, play a game, join a social activity.
Creative activities like singing, drumming, or painting can lift your mood and energy.
Why Regulating Your Nervous System Matters
Practicing these up- and down-regulation tools regularly builds flexibility — like strength-training for your nervous system. You’ll notice benefits like:
Fewer panic attacks and anxiety spikes
Better sleep and digestion
More emotional resilience
A stronger sense of calm, safety, and self-trust
Improved physical health over time (lower blood pressure, better immune function)
This isn’t about “fixing” yourself — it’s about listening to and supporting the wise system inside you.
By tuning into your body’s needs — knowing when to gently energize and when to calm — you give yourself the gift of true balance. Over time, it becomes second nature, and you’ll find that even in challenging moments, you have the tools to come home to yourself.
